It was the normal stupid day when I jumped into the room after a full stomach, rattling through my things to adjust in order when I heard an inaudible cry for help coming from a heart three meters away from my body, beating in anticipation for divine help but closing in to accept the ways it has seen in the mortal world. The eyes were red because of the heart speaking to somebody though a channel that only one in oblivion knows of. I wanted to help the slowly shadowing beating, but retired to deal with my unconsciousness to understand my own beliefs and path. Better was the decision because the faith between two bodies was ‘under construction’. I began to realize the ways human heart deals with the situations put up front. It is all related to the past and the current moment or the space between the two entities. After two months of wearing a zipper on my mouth, the time has come to finally write the stuff that I have already burnt into ashes 23 days ago.
This might sound a little abstract but the words that come for you are not. They are well defined, precisely chosen because you deserve my meticulous nature for being so undoubtedly perfect in my life. Your every move and the essence in the ways are absolutely untouched by anybody else but my skin. I have seen the expressions that have to be ‘read between the lines’. The moments of true self are considered stupid in this world, because people are afraid of getting posted as weak and insecure, but in reality everyone of them is driven by the very same fact. To do better than others, the hunger for appreciation and the desire to be loved are three natural ingredients to a human nature.
But even if any one element of the three are jeopardized, the mind starts to think in myriad of unexplored ways and most of the time gets confused and looks for ways to get it into the path to function as it should. The little smiles come into existence to serve for the little “humanity” that has remained in the mortal body because of the natural selection. Then the mind takes a completely different path, which was closely related to the ‘other self’ of you in the first place and voila! “I don’t know why is this happening”. “I know I am not perfect and it is just the start”. These rational sentences come into the mind to lure you to the comfort zone that you were unaware of. It is dangerous, extremely dangerous to fell in that infinitely deep hole of fake actualization and ‘feel better about yourself’. Because it is the worst thing that you are doing with yourself, that is estimating your abilities and going on the path that is already in your map with a destination you are aware of. As a human the “constraints” can drive your car of life but you can define your own. Believe in your existence because you don’t need someone to validate your functioning self unless your mind clicks for the necessary action.
Only if this music and whiskey was not with me at the moment, words would have been zipped and locked for another month. I believe people are literally ‘expecting’ something to happen before they go to bed and will certainly flush this text while voluntarily getting blinded by reality.
“This is fucked up!”